Thursday, November 12, 2009

Knowing Your Worth

What is enough?

Do I do enough?
Do I rest enough?
Am I healthy enough?
Am I social enough?
Do I work hard enough?

There are questions like these posed every nanosecond of the day, in every human mind. So, what is enough?

My plague is, do I do enough?

Presently, I am a stay-at-home mother. That means I am:
-The Chef
-The Maid
-The Runner of Errands – dry cleaning, groceries, household shopping etc
-The Mail Woman
-The Chairperson of the household reserve (I make sure we don’t go over budget)
-A Taxi Service
…among other things.

It made me think of my worth, since I am usually struggling with the question “Do I do enough?”. I am vying each day to bring more to the table, more bread, more dough, mo’ money. I feel guilt ridden that I am fiscally a failure of a provider. But digging deeper, I found that the worth of a stay-at-home mom is rather dazzling.

If I were to be paid for my services, I would make approximately $90,000. Factor in overtime, because we all know mommy is needed in the night, and that hikes up the salary about $25,000. We do not have sick days, or vacation. We have to work, hard, every single waking moment. We are often roused from deep sleep to comfort shattering nightmares, or to feed hungry newborns. We have to calm toddlers throwing themselves in fits of desperation in the grocery store, while others look on, judgmentally. We have to pick up the pieces of every broken toy, emotion, soul. We have to be strong and patient. We have to raise sane, secure, capable children who will one day be our, hopefully competent, workforce. And we do all this while others look down on us for, ahem, staying at home.

So, do I do enough? Yes, I do.

But it’s not a list that validates it for me. It’s not the salary. It’s the peace I have had to find within. I have had to transcend my own greed, my ego’s need for self-worth, to feel as though everything I do is worthy. And that peace never brings home a paycheck.


  1. Excellent post.

    I really struggled with this for the first year or two, but I think I'm at peace with my world now.

    It's impossible to put a price tag on a peaceful home and childhood.

    We do enough.

  2. I can COMPLETELY relate to all you say- what we do is pure selfless, egoless work - a real spiritual exercise that brings to the surface our amazing latent talents... I didn't know I (and all mothers) was (were) so capable until the challenge that children provided. And I am so grateful for it.
    Thanks for your beautiful post :)

  3. I'm so, so, so happy to see you here!! I love this first post, and look forward to the many, many others. LEt your spirit soar!

  4. A beautiful post and one I can truly relate to.
    Motherhood is the most rewarding 'profession' ever in my opinion and my soul has never been happier :)

  5. A thoughtful, wonderful post. I will share with a dear friend struggling with similar questions.