It seems that I’m lost as to what to write. I feel as if what I have to say is just more useless information bombarding whoever reads this blog. This has always been my obstacle and the reason it has taken me some time to start a blog and the reason I have no continuity in my posts. I’m still getting used to posting my inner thoughts, even my exhaustive superficial daily thoughts. I am consumed with Doubt. And if I know one thing, I know Doubt ain’t my friend. Doubt is nobody’s friend. Unfortunately for me, Doubt and I have a long history.
Today, Doubt said:
“Nobody wants to know what you write about MH. You have nothing much to say anyway. Well you might, but is there really any point to this? Really? Let’s face it. There is no point. What are you doing this for?”
And MH said: nothing. (Normally there would be a world-class justification of why what I do is important followed by an imaginary standing ovation.)
But today I didn’t want to listen to Doubt anymore, so instead I chose to chronicle today’s communication breakdown between Doubt and I in order to overcome it. I had to break it off with Doubt. The relationship was doomed. Doubt was always winning and I was losing myself to it. So, no more listening to Doubt. I would feel Doubt creep up on me each day with that nauseating feeling in my tummy that it loves to bring along. I would sit there eating my dinner and eating my words with it. I had no more left to say because Doubt left me feeling self-conscious. Well, here’s to you Doubt. Here’s to your effort. (clinking of champagne glasses: Cheers!)
I am alive and well without you and I’d like for you to stay away. If you don’t, I may call upon the Universe to give you a restraining order. I know you may guffaw but I am done with letting you take control of my life. I can do whatever I set my mind to as long as you’re no longer around. Get the picture?